Welcome to Jewel Diamond Taylor's S.T.O.P on-line support group for overspenders

On this page....

1) Testimonials of Overspenders

2) How to receive Jewel Diamond Taylor's S.T.O.P. poster

3) Question/Answer for spending recovery

4) Quiz for Overspenders

5) Suggested reading

TESTIMONIALS:

Jewel,

I have just admitted to myself that I am an overspender and need help. I have been surfing the net these last three days reading articles and cases on overspenders and shopaholics.  I did not realize there are so many of us out there.  I want to stop overspending. I go through all the emotions that I have been reading about - high, guilt, shame, anger - plus I hide bags with my purchases.  I return things and I also take bags and boxes of my purchases to the Goodwill or Salvations Army after I vow I will never to it again. Of course, I do it again. I'm also always buying "stuff" for other people. I just spend so much, we can't save.

I feel happy as I am shopping whether it's the mall, garage sales or thrift stores, but I really am very unhappy the rest of the time. I know I may have to seek professional help for other underlying problems. Right now I just need to tell this to someone who understands and won't ridicule me.  I need to stop this madness!  Thank you for listening. ~ Samantha (Washington DC/VA area)

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Your e-mail couldn't have come at a better time. Just yesterday, I went to the mall and spent almost $300 on a lot of junk.  Was it necessary that I made those purchases? Absolutely not!! As I was driving home I, I felt so stupid. I actually stayed mad at myself for about three hours. I felt like I was not in control while I was doing the shopping. It was a feeling that came over me that I am sure an alcoholic must feel when she knows what she is doing is totally wrong but she just could not stop herself from doing more damage. Anyway, thanks for the reminder of what I must take action on immediately.  - A. C., Calif.

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I used to overspend all the time at the Grocery store and at the mall.  I have trained myself to look in my cart before I whip out my card, usually in a quiet place away from sales clerks and say....

What did I come in to the store for?  Do I have that Item?  What is the one thing I cannot live

without in this cart. (If it's a real bargain that I will regret not taking advantage of later I usually keep it.

Then I put the rest of it back or give it to the clerk and I feel empowered because I had it for the whole time I was in the store but I did not take it home or spend bill money on it. It works every time.  - D. C., Indianapolis

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Thank you Jewel for your honesty on the subject. I am recovering also, it has been three years 4 months.  Gambling, alcohol and codependency were my three headed demon.  I had to recover from all three in order to become sane again.  I joined your email early in my recovery and your inspiration gave me hope when I felt I was a hopeless situation. I did not know that 12 step programs would work for me, however they have and give me a venue to embrace my experience and tap into and pass on a solution to another who is still suffering. I admire your work and the way you present the information. Keep it up, we are own a spiritual path of living.  I have been given opportunities in the past three years that I could not have imagined possible. I put recovery first and the rest of my life followed suit. Continue to let your Light shine and cover topics that people are in denial about. Peace of mind is what I prayed for in the beginning of this journey. I have it today. I embrace the good and the bad that occurs in life. I have tools today and I continually modify them as my needs change. I keep three prayers in my wallet so if I find myself irritable, discontent or in need of help I take them out and say them on the spot. Action is the best solution. I commend you on creating your own visual aid when you are ready to spend.  Take care,  James B., Los Angeles

∑ How often do you buy things to cheer yourself up or to reward yourself?

∑ Can you afford them at the moment?

. Are you hiding clothes, shoes, purses, etc. at your friend's house or in the  trunk of your car?

. Do you go shopping for no reason when youíre bored or lonely?

. Do you justify your impulsive purchase and then try to return it later?

. Are you buying senseless items instead of paying your bills?

. Are you feeling shame, guilt and out of control?

e-mail JewelMotivates@aol.com to request:

S.T.O.P. (Shopaholics Therapy Overspenders Promise)

This is a laminated STOP 8 Ĺ" x 11" poster with 12 steps for healing the urge to splurge.

If you have a testimony to share for this web site page, mail or email us with your initials, city and state with your permission for reprint. e-mail - Jewelmotivates@aol.com

Question:

I'm recovering from an overspending disorder and have done well-setting goals, creating a budget, talking about money. When I'm alone I still have such a hard time resisting the urge to spend-what are some tips for overcoming that?

Answer:

Resisting urges gets easier with time. Initially, most overspenders need to do what alcoholics have to do-"think through a drink." In other words, before you spend, especially impulsively, you need to think about how you will feel afterwards. If you think that you might have second thoughts or regrets, don't spend!

Another important step is to avoid "people, places, and things." All addiction recovery focuses on these issues.  For overspenders, "people" can be a friend who likes to go shopping. A "place" could be the mall by yourself. "Things" could be credit cards or sales. If you are not safe when you are alone, don't be alone. Go to the mall with someone. Tell them in advance why you are going, what you are looking for, and how much you plan to spend. Keep them informed while you shop and don't let them wander off and leave you alone. If you are tempted to shop online or on television while you are home alone, call someone.  If this is not enough, get up and go to a meeting or to someone else's house. Have an "I'll do whatever it takes to stop" attitude. Ask for help.  Write in your journal when you are alone. Educate yourself about overspending. Go online and get support. Identify your "triggers" and find ways to manage or avoid them. As you progress in your recovery, it will get easier and become more natural. Some day, if you stick with it, you will get the wonderful reward of being able to help others-when you give it away, you get it back ten fold.  -  Dr. Eric Griffin-Shelley

Are you an overspender?

Many people who spend too much have common personality characteristics.  To isolate these, Money asked 15 psychologists, credit counselors and financial planners to draw up this checklist. True or false:

 

1. You spend money on the expectation that your income will rise.

2. You take cash advances on one credit card to pay off another.

3. You spend over 20 percent of your income on credit-card bills.

4. You often fail to keep an accurate record of you purchases.

5. You have applied for more than five cards in the past year.

6. You regularly pay for groceries with a credit card because you need to.

7. You often hide your credit-card purchases from your family.

8. Owning several credit cards makes you feel richer.

9. You pay off your monthly credit-card bills, but let others slide.

10. You like to collect cash from friends in restaurants, then charge the

tab on your credit card.

11. You almost always make only the minimum payment on your credit-card bill.

12. You have trouble imagining you life without credit.

Scoring

1-4 true answers. You can probably keep going. You don't seem to splurge uncontrollably.

5-8 true answers. Slow down, you have entered the caution zone. It's

time to draw up a budget, pay off bills, and reevaluate spending habits.

9-12 true answers. You must stop. It may be wise to consult a credit

counselor or financial planner for help in changing your habits.

If your scoring indicates that you need to slow down or stop your overspending habits. Consumer Credit Counseling Services are available nationwide. You will find them listed in the Yellow Pages, or you can call 1-800-687-0113 to locate a branch in your area. Debtors Anonymous is a self-help group for compulsive spenders and credit abusers. Your local telephone directory White Pages will help you find it and other programs. If you feel that, as in many compulsive disorders, low self-esteem may be at the root of your problem, a professional counselor may be the answer.

Debt / Overspending

Debtors Anonymous

International. 520 groups. Founded 1976. 12-Step. Fellowship that provides mutual help in recovering from compulsive indebtedness. Primary purpose of members is to stay solvent and help other compulsive debtors achieve solvency. Newsletter and phone support network. Offers online support and listings of local meetings.
Write:
Debtors Anonymous
P.O. Box 920888
Needham, MA 02492-0009
Voice: 781-453-2743
Fax: 781-453-2745
Website: http://www.debtorsanonymous.org
E-mail: new@debtorsanonymous.org
Verified: 1/8/2007

Overcomers Outreach, Inc.

International. 700 affiliated groups. Founded 1985. 12-Step. Christ-centered support group for persons with any compulsive behaviors, as well as their families and friends. Uses 12-steps of A.A. and applies them to the Scriptures. Uses Jesus Christ as 'higher power.' Supplements involvement in other 12-step groups. Newsletter, group development guidelines and conferences.
Write:
Overcomers Outreach
P.O. Box 922950
Sylmar, CA 91392-2950
Voice: 1-800-310-3001
Website: http://www.overcomersoutreach.org
E-mail: info@overcomersoutreach.org
Verified: 4/25/2007

Spenders Anonymous

National. Support for those who have problems spending compulsively using the 12-step approach. Script for running a meeting is at their website.
Voice: 651-649-4573
Website: http://www.spenders.org
Verified: 4/27/2007

I.C.A.P. (Intercongregational Addictions Program)

International. Founded 1979. Network of recovering alcoholic women in religious orders. Helps Roman Catholic women who are or have been members of religious orders and are alcoholic or chemically dependent, compulsive eaters, compulsive gamblers, etc. Information, referrals, assistance in meeting other members, phone support, conferences and e-newsletters.
Write:
Intercongregational Addictions Program
7777 Lake St., Suite 115
River Forest, IL 60305-1734
Voice: 708-488-9770
Fax: 708-488-9774
Website: http://www.2icap.org
E-mail: icapsrs@sbcglobal.net
Verified: 4/26/2007

Shopping Addicts Support

Online. For people who are, or think they may be, addicted to shopping to help and support each other. For anyone who has a problem and is trying to overcome it.
Website: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/shopping_addicts
Verified: 4/28/2007

Overcomers In Christ

International. Founded 1987. Recovery program that deals with every aspect of addiction and dysfunction (spiritual, physical, mental, emotional and social). Uses Overcomers Goals which are Christ-centered. Resources, literature, information and referrals. Assistance in starting new groups.
Write:
Overcomers In Christ
P.O. Box 34460
Omaha, NE 68134-0460
Voice: 402-573-0966
Fax: 402-573-0960
Website: http://www.OvercomersInChrist.org
E-mail: OIC@OvercomersInChrist.org
Verified: 5/3/2007

Recoveries Anonymous

International. 50 chapters. Spiritual recovery group for anyone seeking a solution for any kind of addiction, problem or behavior. Family and friends welcome. 'How To Begin...' guides and 'Start A Group' kit can be downloaded free from the website.
Write:
Recoveries Anonymous
P.O. Box 1212
East Northport, NY 11731
Website: http://www.r-a.org
E-mail: raus@r-a.org
Verified: 1/8/2007

 

SUGGESTED READING:

Any books by Suze Orman

Girl, Get Your Money Straight!
A Sister's Guide to Healing Your Bank Account
and Funding Your Dreams in 7 Simple Steps by Glinda Bridgforth


Success Gems - by Jewel Diamond Taylor (Glinda Bridgforth is a contributing author on the issue of money wisdom)

Nice Girls Don't Get Rich - 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make With Money by Lois P. Frankel, PhD

Overcoming Overspending: A Winning Plan for Spenders and Their Partners by Olivia Mellan, Sherry Christie

Women Who Shop Too Much - by Carolyn Wesson

How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously - by Jerrold Mundis

9 Steps to Financial Freedom - by Suze Orman

Thank you for visiting my S.T.O.P. web site page dedicated to the financial intelligence, prosperity, peace and emotional healing for overspenders.  Let go of the impulsive spending, shame and secrets.  I'm healing and in recovery with you.  Through my recovery I am discovering ways to shop in moderation and with a plan.  You can do it!  If you have tips or testimonials to share, please email me Jewelmotivates@gmail.com

P.S. Now if you see me in the same outfit a couple of times, don't say nothing!  I'm healing and $aving " - Jewel Diamond Taylor

                              

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