What or who is pushing your buttons?  Is it your boss, parent, spouse, the traffic, bill collectors, betrayal from a friend, a nasty divorce, a cancelled flight, long lines at the grocery store, car accident, etc.   Often the people we love or work with trigger emotions of anger and impatience.

 

 Change your glasses.  Begin to see that everyone is dealing with some type of issue.  When you relate to them with love, you will no longer think of them as a drain on your energy.   You can learn to tame your anger with patience.

Anger is one letter short of danger.  Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive -- not aggressive -- manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to be clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others. 

Memories of traumatic events can also trigger angry feelings.   If this is your “anger trigger”, it’s a healthy idea to begin opening up the process of forgiveness for yourself or towards those who have hurt you. 

Yes, you need emotional and physical boundaries to keep people who harm you at a distance.  You can also learn to express your intense emotions in a healthy way…at the right time…to the right person…in the right way.  Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival. 

There are people and things you cannot control.  Only control what you can control.  Practice deep breathing.  Notice your patterns of coping with anger.  Do you express your feelings…suppress your feelings or relax and calm yourself?

Prolonged intense anger certainly sets the stage for depression, strokes, headaches, and heart disease to back pain.   If you suppress or "depress" your feelings, you become cut off from your emotional energy and left with feelings of fatigue and disconnection from life.  Your body begins to slow down and you feel like you’re running on empty.  Anger negatively affects your health and peace of mind.  Ask yourself, “Do I want to continue carrying this poison in my heart, mind, body and spirit?” 

 If you are experiencing intense feelings of hate, rage or violence …please seek help.  Acknowledging that you have uncontrollable anger is your first positive step toward emotional wellness.

                                   ~ Jewel Diamond Taylor

 

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