Many women never experienced
positive role models or
emotional ties from a father.
When a woman has been
uninformed, needy, naive and
her trust was broken or stolen
in her childhood or from past
relationships…
then even the smartest women can
make mistakes when it comes to
relationships.
I know I have made my share of
foolish and desperate choices.
We give away our hearts, only to
realize he's not willing or
ready to commit.
Or we try to keep a relationship
alive, sacrificing our power and
our self-respect,
refusing to acknowledge the
flaws that everyone else can
see.
We deserve more. YOU deserve
more.
We were born to need each other,
but we still haven't learned how
to live with each other.
We want love to be magical and
romantic. We want love to
rescue us from all our problems.
We get confused and think sex =
love. Women are searching for
love on the internet and
under tremendous stress from
media pressure, struggling as
single parents, living with AIDs,
and bouncing from one
relationship to the next or
staying in an abusive and drama
filled
relationship or the “other
woman” so she can at least say
she has a “boo.”
When a woman is uncertain about
a relationship, she will either
start asking questions about
where the relationship is going
or she will try to win him over,
fix him, rescue him, change him
or challenge him.
When this happens men are either
like a genie in a bottle and
disappear or they are like a
turtle
moving slow in the
relationship.
Women are like
a microwave. We heat up
emotionally quickly and
cool down emotionally quickly.
Men
are like a rubberband. They go
back and forth with their
emotions.
All these factors can keep you
in a destructive cycle of
unloving, unfulfilling, painful
and costly relationships.
Through the powerful insights
and life lessons in my new book,
women everywhere are learning
how to raise their relationship
IQ and stop wearing the perfume
called "desperation" so they can
make smart love choices.
Women need to learn emotional
fitness – our feelings are our
worst and best enemy.
I am honored to be a vessel and
a voice for many years now to
help women overcome self-
defeating behavior. insecurity,
desperation, low self-esteem and
loneliness.
Men and women speak two
different "emotional
languages."
.
Gaining information, spiritual
discernment and fellowship with
other women of wisdom can
really shorten your learning
curve when it comes to breaking
the code and understanding the
many blessings and mysteries of
building a healthy self-esteem
and a healthy relationship.
Whether you are married, single
and searching, single and
satisfied, divorced or
widowed, you will gain some
tremendous insights and
encouragement when you
attend my upcoming "Heart and
Soul" seminar.
Publisher's name - Kimani Press
Publishing date - January 2008
Price - 14.95
Number of pages - 208
register to attend the next
“Heart and Soul Seminar” with
the
Self-esteem Dr.
and author Jewel Diamond
Taylor
| Empowering pages from Jewel Diamond Taylor's Harlequin recent published book.
You Deserve More: Desperation is a Terrible Perfume to Wear
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"It is so amazing to think how we as women lose so much time, money, self-respect and peace of mind because we are hurting, lonely, weak, broken and in large part because we have a low Relationships IQ. I've had some hard lessons to learn in discovering my own value and voice. Because of what I have lost and given away, I have now gained new divine insight. At the risk of being exposed, judged, ridiculed and misunderstand, I have exchanged my shame and brokenness for my Lord's salvation and peace of mind. Yes, in my former years I was lost and found with low self-esteem modeling the behavior of my passive Mother. My precious Mother passed on to Glory before she could pass on pearls of wisdom about relationships, dating and marriage. She never learned them, so how could I expect her to teach me? When I realized this, I stopped blaming her and began my journey of healing.
The presence or the absence of a Father in a daughter's life really shape, mold and educate her with a high Relationships IQ. My biological Father was not physically available for my Daddy's girl training because of my parent's divorce at the age of seven. My later Stepfather was a good provider but never emotionally available for me or my two younger sisters.
Dancing with your Father, talking with your Father, hugs from your Father, learning how to interact with other men and learning resiliency through adversity are great gifts many of us never received from our Fathers. Even though I have never gained the affirmation, strength and love that I craved from my earthly Fathers or uncles, I have learned to know the depth, compassion and power of my heavenly Father's love.
Even though the message in this book sounds the alarm for women to be aware of mistreatment and heartache, this is not about male bashing. There are good men and Fathers with good hearts.
And there are men that have actually told me before they became mature and righteous men, how they use to prey on and seek out weak women. Men have said in my workshops (laughing as they tell their stories) how they could spot a sucker in the crowd. They admitted that giving a compliment, a little attention and manipulation got them what they wanted. A brother in the printing office saw me working on this book and told me I was the enemy to those type of men because I was enlightening and empowering women to open their eyes.
It's sad but true, desperation and weakness are something dogs can detect. When a woman allows the scent of man and sex take over her good sense, she will eventually have a broken heart. So this book is simply my contribution to the healing and awareness needed to open women's eyes. When we know better, we can do better. I want to be a part of the solution. I have certainly made some foolish choices in the past. I don't have all the answers. You may not agree with all of my ideas. My intention here is to share what I have learned and experienced from my own growth and from counseling with other women. Because of my own awakening and the grace of God in my life, I feel compelled to put to pen and paper some relationship lessons.
Sisters, daughters, mothers, grandmothers and friends - we have work to do. We have to break some generational cycles of depression, suicide, divorce, desperation, broken hearts and our children learning unhealthy relationship skills. We can sometimes be smart with your heads but not with our hearts.
Be sure to pass this along to your daughter, your co-worker sitting next to you, your best friend, that sister at church who is reaching out for help or even your Mother. This is excellent material to share at a women's retreat or study group. It's crucial to understand that your emotional scars, beliefs, memories, music, media, role models, romance myths and your sense of worth are powerful forces shaping your behavior. These determine who you allow into your heart, spirit and bedroom. What you don't know, can hurt you. We must grow, share and pray for God's mercy, grace and direction in our lives. Some of us have the victory now over immature, reckless and sinful relationships. Nothing will change for us until we are able to tell the truth to ourselves and tell our stories of desperation and deliverance.
A good man who really cares and respects you would not take advantage of you. If you are wearing the perfume of desperation, a dog can smell it. Unfortunately, he will misuse your body, time, money and heart. Being needy, naive, desperate and having low expectations will surely cause you heartache and pain. You may fall in love with some one's personality but it's their character you really live with.
You deserve more than:
a part time love - a "booty call" - shared love - secret love
"I love you if" kind of love -
abusive love (emotional or physical) or
a date with only fast food and fast sex"
(This page is an excerpt from the book "You Deserve More' by the Self-esteem Dr. Jewel Diamond Taylor.)
The Self-esteem Dr. will be teaching from this insightful book
August 9, 2008
Days Inn Hotel
9860 Washington Blvd
Laurel, MD 20723
for tickets e-mail ikisha25@yahoo.com or JewelMotivates@aol.com
Save the date to increase your relationships I.Q., learn relationship secrets and heal broken hearts. Jewel is a wife of 38 years, mother of two adult sons, inspirational speaker, life coach and author. Whether you are single, married, divorced, young or mature, all women will benefit greatly as she reveals her mistakes and shares valuable life lessons learned.
call 323.964.1736 to register by phone with your debit/credit card or click button below
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